I missed the my kids athletics carnival this week because I had to work. I compensated by packing the world's best lunchboxes, creating fantastic hair-do's complete with team colours and I even organised for Dad to visit for an hour or so to catch some of the action. But I still wasn't there. I've been to the last 4 athletics carnivals to cheer my boys on from the sideline and give them a hug when they missed the final or came last. I had a bad case of mother-guilt.
So what did I miss? My eldest came second in the 200m, my middle boy came 3rd in his 100m heat (although he points out that there were only 3 in the race, so that's not really that good anyway) and my little girl came first in both the Year 1 cross country and the 100m final. I missed her big day! Yes, I felt terrible all day and then felt terrible all night too. But a few days have now passed, and I'm strarting to be able to see my absence in the grander scheme of things and accept that not going to the carnival does not make me a bad mother and that my children are actually far less upset about than I am.
I've decided there's not really much you can do to overcome mother-guilt. It just comes with the job. We will always compare ourselves to others and want to do the very best for our kids. There's actually nothing wrong with that lofty aim, but we do need to keep it in perspective and give ourselves a quick slap in the face when we let our thoughts run away from reality.
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