I've noticed over the years that the girls in Year 5 onwards often start to get a poisonous attitude that turns nice little girls into terrifying adolescents. Not one to wait for my daughter to go off the rails, I decided to do a bit of Googling and find out what ammunition I could pack in my parenting pocket. This is what I came up with:
- Set boundaries and enforce them with consequences. Young people who have to live within boundaries develop a special part of their brain that helps them regulate their behaviour better.
- Limit the influence of their peers. Young people today can have access to their friends 24/7 through mobiles and internet chat sites. Too much time with their friends reinforces faulty adolescent opinions and attitudes.
- Maintain the dominance of the family in their lives. Make mealtimes together a standard and ensure that your kids know when the family comes first. Make sure that you spend time each week doing something together, not in front of the TV, but actually interacting.
- Don't try to be your kids' best friend. After all, what 12 year old wants a friend your age?
Like most parents, I really struggle to maintain boundaries. Sometimes I feel just too tired to keep fighting and I'm all too ready to give in just so I can have some peace and quiet. I think that's where we need to make sure we've got friends around us who can give us the strength to stand firm. Where we don't have those friends, then it's important to seek some professional help.
In the meantime, let me encourage you to keep your eyes focused on that cute smiling face stuck on the fridge and your spirit holding tight to the last hug and kiss they gave you.
"So let us not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up or quit." - Romans 6:9
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